“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.” (Luke 6:32, ESV)
When President Trump was in office, he often talked about “fake news”. He pointed out the fact that news outlets would purposefully make up facts or skew reports or even twist reality in order to push a certain political or ideological agenda. Years ago, reporters were counted on to tell the facts. Starting a half century ago, colleges and universities began to promote the concept of “advocacy journalism”. This type of reporting does not believe in telling the facts about a newsworthy event or situation. Rather, it seeks to adopt a non-objective viewpoint in order to sway public opinion. In doing so, it actually becomes a form of propaganda. Sadly, this type of reporting has become the norm. “Fake news” is now commonplace. You often have to scour many different reports in order to separate the truth from all the hidden agendas.
There is another type of fakeness in our world. It too has its own hidden agendas. I call it “fake love”. “Fake love” comes from the same mindset as “fake news”. Fake love also has hidden agendas that are difficult to perceive at first glance. Fake love comes across as a genuine caring for another person. However, this is simply a masquerade, a facade. The person who exhibits fake love will often dole out what seems like love, but its intent is to sway another person while giving the illusion of true concern or warm feelings. Fake love is conditional. It is manipulative. It is not gracious. It has hidden motives and selfishly has strings attached.
When Cecelia met Carlos at work, she immediately became infatuated with him. He was a good-looking guy who was easy to talk to and ready to listen. Cecelia flirted with Carlos whenever he visited her section of the building. Soon, Carlos found ways to stop by and see Cecelia. The two went on several dates and the relationship became very serious.
A month after their first date, Carlos took Cecelia out to a very expensive restaurant to celebrate. Then, a week later, Carlos sent flowers to her at work. Most days, Cecelia had forty or fifty texts from Carlos. He would text her messages telling her how much he loved her looks or clothes, missed her, or expounding on her beauty. Cecelia was smitten. She fell in love fast and hard. Cecelia dreamed of a day when she would marry Carlos, though it had only been two months since their first date! Everything seemed so perfect.
What Cecelia didn’t figure out until months later was that Carlos was narcissistic. He was doing something that counselors call “love bombing”. Carlos would shower gifts on Cecelia, spend lots of time with her, and whisk her off to lavish weekend getaways. It seemed heavenly at first, but this shower of love and attention by Carlos had ulterior motives. Carlos liked to manipulate Cecelia’s time. He kept her from spending time with friends and family. After spending a lot of money on her at a fancy restaurant, he would suggest that they have sex. When Cecelia would not have sex, Carlos at first simply showered her with more gifts. Later, he would pout, acting offended. Carlos would tell Cecelia how they were soul mates and made for one another. Over and over, he commented on her beauty. But then, he would turn around and ask her to spend a holiday with him and not with family as was her tradition. He would expect her to act like a trophy wife at his work events while finding reasons why Cecelia should not spend time with her friends or have a Sunday meal with her family. He bought her flowers and candy and had it delivered to work or home. After a while, Cecelia began to wonder if he did this to look good to others or if he really did care about her. It seemed like he would ask for something just after he gave her a gift or took her to a fancy restaurant. Only months later did Cecelia realize how the many “love bombs” Carlos showered upon her always came with strings attached. When Cecelia prayed, she felt God warning her of Carlos’ intentions.
Fake love usually has hidden agendas. Carlos was a narcissist. He wanted Cecelia to be indebted and devoted to him, so he showered her with gifts and expounded on her beauty. At the same time, he coopted her time and isolated her from friends and family. Carlos wanted to be the center of Cecelia’s world. He wanted her to shower him with attention. To get her to do this, he would barrage her with gifts that over time indebted Cecelia psychologically to Carlos. Then, Carlos used this to dominate Cecelia’s expectations and life choices.
Love bombing is just one of many forms of fake love in our world. It is manipulative and has hidden agendas. Over time, it can become exhausting and psychologically damaging. Like all forms of fake love, there are always strings attached.
God’s love is different from fake love. It is full of grace and mercy. It forgives. It is unconditional. It is uplifting. God doesn’t need to love with strings attached. God does have expectations but does not withhold love to manipulate people or use love as a weapon of control or domination.
In Luke 6:32, Jesus talks about worldly forms of fake love with the statement, “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them!” With these words, Jesus was expressing that worldly love has conditions and expectations with strings attached. Jesus wanted people to know that God’s love is greater than these worldly forms of fake love. God’s love doesn’t use love to control others. God’s love doesn’t have hidden agendas or give false hope. God’s love is meant to uplift not manipulate. God’s love is meant to help a person become whole, not make a person feel indebted and unworthy.
Be careful in your life not to use worldly forms of love. It is all too easy to fall into a pattern where you manipulate another person in a loving way in order to get something in return. If your goal is to gift those cookies you just baked in order to have a person like you, isn’t that a form of manipulation? How is that a gift of love? If you have sex with someone in order to have that person give you something in return, how is that in any way godly? If you withhold your love from another in order to make them feel pain, how is your love like God’s love? Aren’t you using love as a weapon or tool to get your way? Men and woman may implement worldly forms of love in different ways, but the purpose is the same. Worldly forms of love, like fake love, like love bombs, are always given with strings attached. Worldly love often comes with associated costs. It is a calculated love with selfish motives.
Scripture teaches us that “God is love” (1 John 4:8). Never confuse this love that comes from God with any form of worldly love. Sadly, God’s kind of love is just as rare and sparsely used as it is beautiful and precious.
Do you practice worldly forms of love? How might offering God’s kind of love change things? Who may need a form of God’s love from you today? How might you show Godly love to nurture a needy soul?
There is another type of fakeness in our world. It too has its own hidden agendas. I call it “fake love”. “Fake love” comes from the same mindset as “fake news”. Fake love also has hidden agendas that are difficult to perceive at first glance. Fake love comes across as a genuine caring for another person. However, this is simply a masquerade, a facade. The person who exhibits fake love will often dole out what seems like love, but its intent is to sway another person while giving the illusion of true concern or warm feelings. Fake love is conditional. It is manipulative. It is not gracious. It has hidden motives and selfishly has strings attached.
When Cecelia met Carlos at work, she immediately became infatuated with him. He was a good-looking guy who was easy to talk to and ready to listen. Cecelia flirted with Carlos whenever he visited her section of the building. Soon, Carlos found ways to stop by and see Cecelia. The two went on several dates and the relationship became very serious.
A month after their first date, Carlos took Cecelia out to a very expensive restaurant to celebrate. Then, a week later, Carlos sent flowers to her at work. Most days, Cecelia had forty or fifty texts from Carlos. He would text her messages telling her how much he loved her looks or clothes, missed her, or expounding on her beauty. Cecelia was smitten. She fell in love fast and hard. Cecelia dreamed of a day when she would marry Carlos, though it had only been two months since their first date! Everything seemed so perfect.
What Cecelia didn’t figure out until months later was that Carlos was narcissistic. He was doing something that counselors call “love bombing”. Carlos would shower gifts on Cecelia, spend lots of time with her, and whisk her off to lavish weekend getaways. It seemed heavenly at first, but this shower of love and attention by Carlos had ulterior motives. Carlos liked to manipulate Cecelia’s time. He kept her from spending time with friends and family. After spending a lot of money on her at a fancy restaurant, he would suggest that they have sex. When Cecelia would not have sex, Carlos at first simply showered her with more gifts. Later, he would pout, acting offended. Carlos would tell Cecelia how they were soul mates and made for one another. Over and over, he commented on her beauty. But then, he would turn around and ask her to spend a holiday with him and not with family as was her tradition. He would expect her to act like a trophy wife at his work events while finding reasons why Cecelia should not spend time with her friends or have a Sunday meal with her family. He bought her flowers and candy and had it delivered to work or home. After a while, Cecelia began to wonder if he did this to look good to others or if he really did care about her. It seemed like he would ask for something just after he gave her a gift or took her to a fancy restaurant. Only months later did Cecelia realize how the many “love bombs” Carlos showered upon her always came with strings attached. When Cecelia prayed, she felt God warning her of Carlos’ intentions.
Fake love usually has hidden agendas. Carlos was a narcissist. He wanted Cecelia to be indebted and devoted to him, so he showered her with gifts and expounded on her beauty. At the same time, he coopted her time and isolated her from friends and family. Carlos wanted to be the center of Cecelia’s world. He wanted her to shower him with attention. To get her to do this, he would barrage her with gifts that over time indebted Cecelia psychologically to Carlos. Then, Carlos used this to dominate Cecelia’s expectations and life choices.
Love bombing is just one of many forms of fake love in our world. It is manipulative and has hidden agendas. Over time, it can become exhausting and psychologically damaging. Like all forms of fake love, there are always strings attached.
God’s love is different from fake love. It is full of grace and mercy. It forgives. It is unconditional. It is uplifting. God doesn’t need to love with strings attached. God does have expectations but does not withhold love to manipulate people or use love as a weapon of control or domination.
In Luke 6:32, Jesus talks about worldly forms of fake love with the statement, “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them!” With these words, Jesus was expressing that worldly love has conditions and expectations with strings attached. Jesus wanted people to know that God’s love is greater than these worldly forms of fake love. God’s love doesn’t use love to control others. God’s love doesn’t have hidden agendas or give false hope. God’s love is meant to uplift not manipulate. God’s love is meant to help a person become whole, not make a person feel indebted and unworthy.
Be careful in your life not to use worldly forms of love. It is all too easy to fall into a pattern where you manipulate another person in a loving way in order to get something in return. If your goal is to gift those cookies you just baked in order to have a person like you, isn’t that a form of manipulation? How is that a gift of love? If you have sex with someone in order to have that person give you something in return, how is that in any way godly? If you withhold your love from another in order to make them feel pain, how is your love like God’s love? Aren’t you using love as a weapon or tool to get your way? Men and woman may implement worldly forms of love in different ways, but the purpose is the same. Worldly forms of love, like fake love, like love bombs, are always given with strings attached. Worldly love often comes with associated costs. It is a calculated love with selfish motives.
Scripture teaches us that “God is love” (1 John 4:8). Never confuse this love that comes from God with any form of worldly love. Sadly, God’s kind of love is just as rare and sparsely used as it is beautiful and precious.
Do you practice worldly forms of love? How might offering God’s kind of love change things? Who may need a form of God’s love from you today? How might you show Godly love to nurture a needy soul?