“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (Proverbs 13:20, ESV)
The scripture above from Proverbs contains a bit of wisdom about the people you spend time around … your companions…. your friends. Proverbs 13:20 is a cautionary reminder that when you spend time with “the wise”, it often makes you wiser. As the verse above reads, you “become wise”. However, the reverse is also true. If you keep “the companion of fools” by having friends who do not do what is wise in God’s eyes, you “will suffer harm”. You may think this is obvious, but it is not. It may not always be easy to separate out which of your friends are leading you astray, pointing you in the wrong direction, or putting you in harm’s way.
Young people and old deal with peer pressure. This is when others pressure you into doing what is right or what is wrong. You see, peer pressure can be good or bad. In a techhub.com informational page online for teachers, the following description is given:
“An example of positive peer pressure is when a student sees his/her friends get good grades and wants to do the same. Another could be when friends are volunteering in the community, and a student decides to join them. Even something as simple as seeing a group of friends following the rules and respecting others can influence or encourage a child to do the same.
Negative peer pressure can lead to a drop in self-esteem, lower academics, and even shame. Shame comes when a person does something that he/she would not ordinarily do just to fit in. The action does not align with the person’s values, but he did it anyway just to be part of the group.
Some common examples of negative peer pressure include cheating on tests or homework. … Another more detrimental example of peer pressure deals with alcohol or drugs. If all of your friends start smoking, a student might feel that he has to do it in order to stay part of the group. A kind student may even start teasing or bullying another student just because his/her friends are doing it.”
Life is full of pressures. The people with whom you spend the most time have the greatest effect on your attitude, values, beliefs, and ethics. As Rev. David Jeremiah wrote in an April Fool’s Day meditation: “It is important not to choose fools for friends because you will become just like them… It is fine to have casual friendships with those who are not wise, but not committed friendships. It is when we begin to open ourselves up to others on a committed level that we are likely to be influenced to become like them.”
I have seen good Christians become bad examples through the influence of unwise friendships. I have also witnessed sinful people converted by the love of a faithful spouse. How well do you pick your closest friends? Do you have close relationships with those who seem to pull you away from doing what is right or lead you down paths that move away from God?
In that April Fool’s Day meditation, the following advice was offered:
“Sometimes Christians forge friendships with unwise people thinking they can change them. But you will both be changed. Many Christian young people marry non-Christians thinking they can win them over after the marriage. It rarely happens. Everyone is on their best behavior during courtship, and after marriage, the mountain of unbelief looms larger than it did before. You shouldn’t make committed friendships with fools, but you should look for faithful friends.”
In every ministry I have served, I surrounded myself with people who were devoted to God. I trusted them to tell me the truth in love, surround me with prayer, uplift me when struggling, and push me in godly directions. I could not have had such effective ministries without them. In every ministry, I also noticed how naturally faithful people would take the young under their protective wings, offer help to the hurting, pray for those who were suffering, and mentor the next generation. Those who love God are apt to become trusted and worthy friends. Those who do not believe in God often became untrustworthy companions or even sources for evil.
Michelle Carter met Conrad Roy in 2012. They began a deep friendship that grew into a valued relationship. She knew Conrad had a difficult family situation. She encouraged him to get professional help.
Sometime later at the insistence of his doctor, Conrad started taking the anti-depressant Celexa. Not long after, he became more depressed. He began to share with Michelle that he wanted to die. At one point in 2014, Conrad suggested he and Michelle act like Romeo and Juliet and agree to kill themselves.
Michelle could sense that Conrad was falling more deeply into depression. What she did not know is that the medicine he was taking (Celexa) had a warning that it could make a person feel suicidal. Michelle began to wonder if Conrad might be better off dead than suffering with depression. So, when Conrad expressed that he felt like killing himself, Michelle began to “wantonly and recklessly” (the words used in court later to describe her actions) encourage his suicide. Conrad Roy locked himself in a car in a Kmart parking lot in July of 2014, committing suicide through carbon monoxide poisoning. Michelle was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and was sentenced to 2 ½ years of prison.
The court found that Michelle Carter’s encouragement led directly to Conrad Roy’s suicide. Her negative encouragement reinforced his belief that he didn’t deserve to live.
Every day, people influence one another to do good or to do evil. Your relationships, friendships, and actions will determine whether you are a godly influence on others or an unwise source of advice. Don’t underestimate your influence on others. And don’t underestimate how others influence you, your decisions, your faith, and your relationship with God.
My suggestion for you today is that you look for God to influence your relationships. Be a godly mentor and friend to those around you. Be a source of godly wisdom and grace. The world is dying for faithful relationships. I don’t want you to take part in driving people away from holiness.
Young people and old deal with peer pressure. This is when others pressure you into doing what is right or what is wrong. You see, peer pressure can be good or bad. In a techhub.com informational page online for teachers, the following description is given:
“An example of positive peer pressure is when a student sees his/her friends get good grades and wants to do the same. Another could be when friends are volunteering in the community, and a student decides to join them. Even something as simple as seeing a group of friends following the rules and respecting others can influence or encourage a child to do the same.
Negative peer pressure can lead to a drop in self-esteem, lower academics, and even shame. Shame comes when a person does something that he/she would not ordinarily do just to fit in. The action does not align with the person’s values, but he did it anyway just to be part of the group.
Some common examples of negative peer pressure include cheating on tests or homework. … Another more detrimental example of peer pressure deals with alcohol or drugs. If all of your friends start smoking, a student might feel that he has to do it in order to stay part of the group. A kind student may even start teasing or bullying another student just because his/her friends are doing it.”
Life is full of pressures. The people with whom you spend the most time have the greatest effect on your attitude, values, beliefs, and ethics. As Rev. David Jeremiah wrote in an April Fool’s Day meditation: “It is important not to choose fools for friends because you will become just like them… It is fine to have casual friendships with those who are not wise, but not committed friendships. It is when we begin to open ourselves up to others on a committed level that we are likely to be influenced to become like them.”
I have seen good Christians become bad examples through the influence of unwise friendships. I have also witnessed sinful people converted by the love of a faithful spouse. How well do you pick your closest friends? Do you have close relationships with those who seem to pull you away from doing what is right or lead you down paths that move away from God?
In that April Fool’s Day meditation, the following advice was offered:
“Sometimes Christians forge friendships with unwise people thinking they can change them. But you will both be changed. Many Christian young people marry non-Christians thinking they can win them over after the marriage. It rarely happens. Everyone is on their best behavior during courtship, and after marriage, the mountain of unbelief looms larger than it did before. You shouldn’t make committed friendships with fools, but you should look for faithful friends.”
In every ministry I have served, I surrounded myself with people who were devoted to God. I trusted them to tell me the truth in love, surround me with prayer, uplift me when struggling, and push me in godly directions. I could not have had such effective ministries without them. In every ministry, I also noticed how naturally faithful people would take the young under their protective wings, offer help to the hurting, pray for those who were suffering, and mentor the next generation. Those who love God are apt to become trusted and worthy friends. Those who do not believe in God often became untrustworthy companions or even sources for evil.
Michelle Carter met Conrad Roy in 2012. They began a deep friendship that grew into a valued relationship. She knew Conrad had a difficult family situation. She encouraged him to get professional help.
Sometime later at the insistence of his doctor, Conrad started taking the anti-depressant Celexa. Not long after, he became more depressed. He began to share with Michelle that he wanted to die. At one point in 2014, Conrad suggested he and Michelle act like Romeo and Juliet and agree to kill themselves.
Michelle could sense that Conrad was falling more deeply into depression. What she did not know is that the medicine he was taking (Celexa) had a warning that it could make a person feel suicidal. Michelle began to wonder if Conrad might be better off dead than suffering with depression. So, when Conrad expressed that he felt like killing himself, Michelle began to “wantonly and recklessly” (the words used in court later to describe her actions) encourage his suicide. Conrad Roy locked himself in a car in a Kmart parking lot in July of 2014, committing suicide through carbon monoxide poisoning. Michelle was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and was sentenced to 2 ½ years of prison.
The court found that Michelle Carter’s encouragement led directly to Conrad Roy’s suicide. Her negative encouragement reinforced his belief that he didn’t deserve to live.
Every day, people influence one another to do good or to do evil. Your relationships, friendships, and actions will determine whether you are a godly influence on others or an unwise source of advice. Don’t underestimate your influence on others. And don’t underestimate how others influence you, your decisions, your faith, and your relationship with God.
My suggestion for you today is that you look for God to influence your relationships. Be a godly mentor and friend to those around you. Be a source of godly wisdom and grace. The world is dying for faithful relationships. I don’t want you to take part in driving people away from holiness.