“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” (Proverbs 13:20, NLT)
Carl and Damien were best friends from second grade onward. During Elementary School days, they were always found on the playground together. When they were in Junior High, they took the same classes so they could be together all day long. Upon entering High School, they were near inseparable. However, during High School, things changed for Carl. Carl grew up in a Christian home and after a youth mission trip one summer, he grew closer and closer to God. Damien was raised in a stressful situation with a brother in prison and a father who was an alcoholic. Damien had a rough childhood and never really knew God. Damien grew more and more restless as High School wore on.
In their Junior year in High School, Carl and Damien often went out together. They loved to drive around in Damien’s souped-up Toyota Celica. Carl’s family didn’t have much money, so he enjoyed the freedom of going out with Damien and riding around town looking for fun. Then, one night, everything changed in the relationship between these two teens. While riding around town, Damien spied a girl he wanted to date. Carl and Damien followed her car to a restaurant. There, the boys saw the girl meet a boy on what looked like a date. Damien was terribly upset that this girl was dating someone he thought was a loser. Damien told Carl that he was going to do something about it. While Carl watched, Damien slithered over to the boy’s car and keyed it. Then, he let the air out of all the tires. Laughing, Damien slipped back into the car. Carl was visibly shaken. He could not believe Damien had done this. Frightened, Carl said to his best friend, “What if we get caught?” Damien’s response was that he didn’t care one bit.
A week later Damien and Carl were arrested for criminal damage to property for all that was done to the boy’s vehicle. Though Carl pleaded innocent to the crime, he was privy to it and was in the car when it occurred. He did not report it or do anything to stop it. Both boys had to do community service for weeks that summer. Carl’s parents grounded him, and he lost many privileges at home. Damien’s father laughed about the stunt, saying that Damien was following in his father’s footsteps. Damien was proud of his father’s attention and praise.
During the months following their sentencing, Carl began to pull away from Damien. He began to see that Damien was reckless and not above breaking more laws. Though stuck at home without a car, Carl felt it safer not to be with Damien. He missed his old friend but was afraid to be with him. After graduation, the two lost touch.
What happened to both teens is a testament to the scripture for today. Damien spent the next ten years in a downward spiral. He was arrested for petty theft and driving while intoxicated. He crashed two cars after drinking too much and had a child he barely knew. Carl got his act together. He studied and became an HVAC technician. He was married eight years after high school. Today, he owns his own business.
At a High School reunion, Damien and Carl got reacquainted. Carl was shocked how many things had gone wrong in Damien’s life. Damien learned of Carl’s success and resented him for “having it easy”. The two did not speak for twenty years afterward. As Damien left the class reunion, he told a friend that Carl was a loser. As Carl left the reunion, he commented to himself, “I wonder what would have happened to me if I had remained close to Damien….” That is a particularly important point.
The Believer’s Bible Commentary contains wisdom that relates to this story above. As a reflection upon the scripture for today, the Commentary contained the following words of caution: ““Evil company corrupts good habits” (1 Cor. 15:33). A man is often known by the company he keeps. A companion of fools is brought to ruin.” (William McDonald, p. 824). Had Carl remained close to Damien, knowing that Damien was constantly getting into more and more trouble, Carl may well have gotten into trouble himself. Carl may never have settled down to study for his HVAC exams. He may not have completed his training. Proverbs 13:20 clearly divides those who are wise from those who are foolish. The verse makes clear that those who make friends with wise people themselves grow wiser. Those who hang around with fools “get into trouble”. You may think that Proverbs 13:20 is too simplistic. You might desire to give proof of those who made it big despite all kinds of youthful shenanigans. Oh, there are exceptions to the rule. However, for the most part, those you associate with will most definitely influence your thinking and affect your life choices.
Consider these facts. Children of alcoholics are four times more likely to become alcoholics and associate with alcoholics (May 2019 Newsletter, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry). Children of divorced parents often fear one or the other parent will stop loving them. This fear affects their choices. Teenagers often become angry and bitter in response to a family separation. Because of the family situation, many teens of divorced parents in inner cities have found themselves drawn to gang life or to the illicit drug world. A person who drinks alcohol or uses illegal drugs will often want their friends to join in the activity. Dysfunctional families, peer pressures, and the presence of illegal substances will affect your choices and your relationships.
This scripture also points to spiritual friendships. If you hang around with a group of people who are atheists, you will often begin to reexamine your relationship with God. By choosing to be friends with those who do not believe in worship, you will be asked to do things on Sunday mornings while others worship. When among people who like to fool around sexually, you might be tempted to do the same. On the other hand, if you have true Christian friends, they will rub off on you. If you have family who believe in the sanctity of marriage, they will help you to deal with marriage issues. When you have best friends who believe in God, you may find great spiritual wisdom and the courage to face challenging obstacles because of their spiritual strength. If your friend next door is faithful, her prayers on your behalf can have powerful effects (James 5:16).
Don’t underestimate the power of family, close friends, and acquaintances. Their influence over your life choices is far greater than you may realize. Their actions will affect your future. Their temptations may coopt you. Their faith may inspire you. Who are your closest friends? With whom do you spend a lot of your time? Following today’s scripture, are they wise or are they foolish? Will they help you or do they tend to get into all kinds of trouble? Do conversations with those closest to you make you a better person or end up causing you to be depressed or negative or bitter?
In their Junior year in High School, Carl and Damien often went out together. They loved to drive around in Damien’s souped-up Toyota Celica. Carl’s family didn’t have much money, so he enjoyed the freedom of going out with Damien and riding around town looking for fun. Then, one night, everything changed in the relationship between these two teens. While riding around town, Damien spied a girl he wanted to date. Carl and Damien followed her car to a restaurant. There, the boys saw the girl meet a boy on what looked like a date. Damien was terribly upset that this girl was dating someone he thought was a loser. Damien told Carl that he was going to do something about it. While Carl watched, Damien slithered over to the boy’s car and keyed it. Then, he let the air out of all the tires. Laughing, Damien slipped back into the car. Carl was visibly shaken. He could not believe Damien had done this. Frightened, Carl said to his best friend, “What if we get caught?” Damien’s response was that he didn’t care one bit.
A week later Damien and Carl were arrested for criminal damage to property for all that was done to the boy’s vehicle. Though Carl pleaded innocent to the crime, he was privy to it and was in the car when it occurred. He did not report it or do anything to stop it. Both boys had to do community service for weeks that summer. Carl’s parents grounded him, and he lost many privileges at home. Damien’s father laughed about the stunt, saying that Damien was following in his father’s footsteps. Damien was proud of his father’s attention and praise.
During the months following their sentencing, Carl began to pull away from Damien. He began to see that Damien was reckless and not above breaking more laws. Though stuck at home without a car, Carl felt it safer not to be with Damien. He missed his old friend but was afraid to be with him. After graduation, the two lost touch.
What happened to both teens is a testament to the scripture for today. Damien spent the next ten years in a downward spiral. He was arrested for petty theft and driving while intoxicated. He crashed two cars after drinking too much and had a child he barely knew. Carl got his act together. He studied and became an HVAC technician. He was married eight years after high school. Today, he owns his own business.
At a High School reunion, Damien and Carl got reacquainted. Carl was shocked how many things had gone wrong in Damien’s life. Damien learned of Carl’s success and resented him for “having it easy”. The two did not speak for twenty years afterward. As Damien left the class reunion, he told a friend that Carl was a loser. As Carl left the reunion, he commented to himself, “I wonder what would have happened to me if I had remained close to Damien….” That is a particularly important point.
The Believer’s Bible Commentary contains wisdom that relates to this story above. As a reflection upon the scripture for today, the Commentary contained the following words of caution: ““Evil company corrupts good habits” (1 Cor. 15:33). A man is often known by the company he keeps. A companion of fools is brought to ruin.” (William McDonald, p. 824). Had Carl remained close to Damien, knowing that Damien was constantly getting into more and more trouble, Carl may well have gotten into trouble himself. Carl may never have settled down to study for his HVAC exams. He may not have completed his training. Proverbs 13:20 clearly divides those who are wise from those who are foolish. The verse makes clear that those who make friends with wise people themselves grow wiser. Those who hang around with fools “get into trouble”. You may think that Proverbs 13:20 is too simplistic. You might desire to give proof of those who made it big despite all kinds of youthful shenanigans. Oh, there are exceptions to the rule. However, for the most part, those you associate with will most definitely influence your thinking and affect your life choices.
Consider these facts. Children of alcoholics are four times more likely to become alcoholics and associate with alcoholics (May 2019 Newsletter, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry). Children of divorced parents often fear one or the other parent will stop loving them. This fear affects their choices. Teenagers often become angry and bitter in response to a family separation. Because of the family situation, many teens of divorced parents in inner cities have found themselves drawn to gang life or to the illicit drug world. A person who drinks alcohol or uses illegal drugs will often want their friends to join in the activity. Dysfunctional families, peer pressures, and the presence of illegal substances will affect your choices and your relationships.
This scripture also points to spiritual friendships. If you hang around with a group of people who are atheists, you will often begin to reexamine your relationship with God. By choosing to be friends with those who do not believe in worship, you will be asked to do things on Sunday mornings while others worship. When among people who like to fool around sexually, you might be tempted to do the same. On the other hand, if you have true Christian friends, they will rub off on you. If you have family who believe in the sanctity of marriage, they will help you to deal with marriage issues. When you have best friends who believe in God, you may find great spiritual wisdom and the courage to face challenging obstacles because of their spiritual strength. If your friend next door is faithful, her prayers on your behalf can have powerful effects (James 5:16).
Don’t underestimate the power of family, close friends, and acquaintances. Their influence over your life choices is far greater than you may realize. Their actions will affect your future. Their temptations may coopt you. Their faith may inspire you. Who are your closest friends? With whom do you spend a lot of your time? Following today’s scripture, are they wise or are they foolish? Will they help you or do they tend to get into all kinds of trouble? Do conversations with those closest to you make you a better person or end up causing you to be depressed or negative or bitter?