“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8, ESV)
It started off with several arguments over one weekend. Charlene and Daniel fought about money, then about how often they had sex, then it was about who was right about a past event. Though they had been married for three years, arguments seemed to be increasing. At the same time, Daniel was having issues at work. Then, Charlene got pregnant. The stress was increasing in their little apartment. The two seemed uncomfortable around each other. Though both were excited about having a child, their relationship grew tense.
While working late one evening, Daniel became increasingly frustrated. Charlene had called or texted him a dozen times that day complaining about several things. Though Daniel was guilty of a couple of things, Charlene was being overly picky and argumentative. Daniel tried to tell himself it was the pregnancy, but he grew more and more upset just thinking about all the arguing. After leaving work at 8 PM, Daniel decided to stop on the way home and have a couple of drinks to help with the stress. He hadn’t been out to a bar in a long time, and he figured he was due.
While at the bar, Daniel saw his boss’ secretary. She was there with a few of her friends. She invited him to their table, and he accepted the invitation. He really enjoyed himself. When he went home a couple of hours later, he felt better. The stress had eased. The little buzz helped, or so he thought.
When Daniel arrived home, Charlene smelled perfume on his clothes. She accused him of having an affair and wrecking their marriage. Daniel became very angry. He felt he had done nothing wrong. Charlene was upset that he was out late. Secretly, she also was upset that he had the freedom to go out in the evening and didn’t have to be stuck at home with nausea from pregnancy. Charlene was also upset that Daniel was having fun with other people, that he didn’t seem to be concerned enough about her pregnancy, and that he was doing well at work. Her own job had not been fulfilling for a long time. Daniel didn’t even have time to take off his jacket before Charlene screamed at him. They argued for over an hour. Just before Charlene told Daniel he could sleep on the couch, she ended the argument by saying, “How could you do this to me?”
Daniel fell asleep fuming. He had done nothing wrong! He had not cheated on his wife! He had been a good husband. In his mind, he was convinced that he had given more than his fair share to their relationship! How dare she accuse him! How dare she treat him so harshly! What gave her the right to argue all the time?
In the months after that big fight, Charlene sulked and pouted and became passive aggressive. Daniel pulled away from Charlene, not wanting to make her angry while at the same time wanting to not be around her when she was so touchy. Daniel continued to stop by the bar after work. Several times he ran into people from work, including his boss’ secretary. A month after that, Daniel had an affair with his boss’ secretary. Over the following months, as Charlene’s pregnancy seemed to control everything in his family life, Daniel retreated into himself. He saw his boss’ secretary a few more times. He hated going home every night. Daniel had convinced himself that Charlene was so terrible to him that he deserved to be loved by someone who understood him. Charlene drove Daniel away with her accusations and anger and frustration and moodiness. She was convinced she deserved a husband who doted on her at every turn because she was pregnant. She was convinced that if Daniel didn’t do what she wanted, she deserved to take his money in a divorce and find a better man to love her. Charlene’s friends even told her so!
Neither Daniel nor Charlene understood the lies that took over their marriage. Daniel was hiding his affair. Charlene was hiding her desire for a divorce, her hope to “take everything he has”, and the desire to find a better husband. Daniel felt he deserved to go home after work to a peaceful environment, not a shooting gallery for his wife’s bitter comments. Charlene felt she deserved a husband who loved and doted on her (she is pregnant after all!); a man who can bring home a good paycheck, take care of her and her baby, and deal with her mood swings. Charlene and Daniel’s marriage will not make it through this period of their lives. Sin will make sure of that.
Daniel was convinced that his sins of adultery weren't that bad… he deserved some love in his hard life. Charlene was sinful in her anger, her bitterness, her selfish attitude, and her passive-aggressive behavior. Doesn’t Proverbs say, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18, ESV)? Charlene and Daniel have convinced themselves that the other’s sins are far worse. Sadly, their blindness to their own sin has hardened their hearts. Their marriage did not survive the culminations of sins, the finger-pointing, nor the resentment. Neither has attended worship, nor repented of their sins, nor taken responsibility for their actions to this day. Each continues to blame the other for everything that went wrong.
The above story is true. The names were changed but their situation is presented as an example to you of what happens when you lie about your own sin. It is so easy to explain away your responsibility for sin. You will find it easy to blame others for your sin or to legitimize your rationale for sinful actions. Jesus noticed this tendency of human beings when he said, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Luke 6:41, ESV). With these words, Jesus was clarifying that people tend to see the sin in others while completely overlooking their own sin or responsibility for sin.
The scripture for today may hit you hard in one big way. Every person, INCLUDING YOU AND ME, “deceive ourselves” when it comes to sin. 1 John 1:8 clarifies that “if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves.” Then, God’s “truth is not in us”. By overlooking sin, you live a lie. By rationalizing your actions, it’s easy to overlook your own responsibility for sin. When you downplay sin or ignore it, destruction is the inevitable result.
When Charlene and Daniel hid their sin or played down their responsibility for their actions, it led to the destruction of their marriage. Downplaying or ignoring your sin always leads to destruction of some sort. If you lie to yourself about your own selfish arrogance or pride, it will destroy relationships meaningful to God. When you lie to yourself about stealing goods from work, breaking commandments, coveting your neighbor’s money, or lusting after a family member’s husband, you are “deceiving yourself” about sin. Sin is behind all of it. The longer you do not acknowledge a sin, the more destructive it gets.
You may not lie to yourself about the sin of adultery, but do you lie about the sin of covetousness? You may not lie to yourself about murder while at the same time telling yourself that a sinful habit is “not so bad”. Any way you look at it, sin causes destruction of something or someone God loves. The only way to prevent that destruction is to acknowledge that sin. Hiding your sin, lying to yourself about your sins, will make the destruction all the worse.
Look back on your life. Evaluate the lives of those around you. What sin has not caused destruction of some sort? What sin did not result in bad consequences? Even sins that cause short term benefits will result in long-term damage. How many times have you seen this happen?
The only way to deal with sin is to accept your responsibility for it, repent for your part, and change your ways. Acknowledge your sin to God and ask for forgiveness and grace, while rejecting that sin. There is no other way to help alleviate the destruction your sin will cause.
It is so easy to justify your sinful actions. In fact, the more you sin any particular sin, the more you will find ways to justify it to yourself. That doesn’t change the fact that every sin has consequences. That doesn’t stop the damaging effects of that sin in your life.
When Jesus went to the cross, He took your sins with Him. He wanted to show you a better way to deal with sin. You need to face the truth that sinful thoughts and actions have clouded your past. Even now you might be dealing with the consequences of your past sin. Don’t “deceive yourself”. Instead of covering over your sins, repent of them. Make things right. Otherwise, something or someone is going to get hurt or damaged or destroyed or lost. Come clean with sin or else sin will bring darkness over what you love.
While working late one evening, Daniel became increasingly frustrated. Charlene had called or texted him a dozen times that day complaining about several things. Though Daniel was guilty of a couple of things, Charlene was being overly picky and argumentative. Daniel tried to tell himself it was the pregnancy, but he grew more and more upset just thinking about all the arguing. After leaving work at 8 PM, Daniel decided to stop on the way home and have a couple of drinks to help with the stress. He hadn’t been out to a bar in a long time, and he figured he was due.
While at the bar, Daniel saw his boss’ secretary. She was there with a few of her friends. She invited him to their table, and he accepted the invitation. He really enjoyed himself. When he went home a couple of hours later, he felt better. The stress had eased. The little buzz helped, or so he thought.
When Daniel arrived home, Charlene smelled perfume on his clothes. She accused him of having an affair and wrecking their marriage. Daniel became very angry. He felt he had done nothing wrong. Charlene was upset that he was out late. Secretly, she also was upset that he had the freedom to go out in the evening and didn’t have to be stuck at home with nausea from pregnancy. Charlene was also upset that Daniel was having fun with other people, that he didn’t seem to be concerned enough about her pregnancy, and that he was doing well at work. Her own job had not been fulfilling for a long time. Daniel didn’t even have time to take off his jacket before Charlene screamed at him. They argued for over an hour. Just before Charlene told Daniel he could sleep on the couch, she ended the argument by saying, “How could you do this to me?”
Daniel fell asleep fuming. He had done nothing wrong! He had not cheated on his wife! He had been a good husband. In his mind, he was convinced that he had given more than his fair share to their relationship! How dare she accuse him! How dare she treat him so harshly! What gave her the right to argue all the time?
In the months after that big fight, Charlene sulked and pouted and became passive aggressive. Daniel pulled away from Charlene, not wanting to make her angry while at the same time wanting to not be around her when she was so touchy. Daniel continued to stop by the bar after work. Several times he ran into people from work, including his boss’ secretary. A month after that, Daniel had an affair with his boss’ secretary. Over the following months, as Charlene’s pregnancy seemed to control everything in his family life, Daniel retreated into himself. He saw his boss’ secretary a few more times. He hated going home every night. Daniel had convinced himself that Charlene was so terrible to him that he deserved to be loved by someone who understood him. Charlene drove Daniel away with her accusations and anger and frustration and moodiness. She was convinced she deserved a husband who doted on her at every turn because she was pregnant. She was convinced that if Daniel didn’t do what she wanted, she deserved to take his money in a divorce and find a better man to love her. Charlene’s friends even told her so!
Neither Daniel nor Charlene understood the lies that took over their marriage. Daniel was hiding his affair. Charlene was hiding her desire for a divorce, her hope to “take everything he has”, and the desire to find a better husband. Daniel felt he deserved to go home after work to a peaceful environment, not a shooting gallery for his wife’s bitter comments. Charlene felt she deserved a husband who loved and doted on her (she is pregnant after all!); a man who can bring home a good paycheck, take care of her and her baby, and deal with her mood swings. Charlene and Daniel’s marriage will not make it through this period of their lives. Sin will make sure of that.
Daniel was convinced that his sins of adultery weren't that bad… he deserved some love in his hard life. Charlene was sinful in her anger, her bitterness, her selfish attitude, and her passive-aggressive behavior. Doesn’t Proverbs say, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18, ESV)? Charlene and Daniel have convinced themselves that the other’s sins are far worse. Sadly, their blindness to their own sin has hardened their hearts. Their marriage did not survive the culminations of sins, the finger-pointing, nor the resentment. Neither has attended worship, nor repented of their sins, nor taken responsibility for their actions to this day. Each continues to blame the other for everything that went wrong.
The above story is true. The names were changed but their situation is presented as an example to you of what happens when you lie about your own sin. It is so easy to explain away your responsibility for sin. You will find it easy to blame others for your sin or to legitimize your rationale for sinful actions. Jesus noticed this tendency of human beings when he said, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Luke 6:41, ESV). With these words, Jesus was clarifying that people tend to see the sin in others while completely overlooking their own sin or responsibility for sin.
The scripture for today may hit you hard in one big way. Every person, INCLUDING YOU AND ME, “deceive ourselves” when it comes to sin. 1 John 1:8 clarifies that “if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves.” Then, God’s “truth is not in us”. By overlooking sin, you live a lie. By rationalizing your actions, it’s easy to overlook your own responsibility for sin. When you downplay sin or ignore it, destruction is the inevitable result.
When Charlene and Daniel hid their sin or played down their responsibility for their actions, it led to the destruction of their marriage. Downplaying or ignoring your sin always leads to destruction of some sort. If you lie to yourself about your own selfish arrogance or pride, it will destroy relationships meaningful to God. When you lie to yourself about stealing goods from work, breaking commandments, coveting your neighbor’s money, or lusting after a family member’s husband, you are “deceiving yourself” about sin. Sin is behind all of it. The longer you do not acknowledge a sin, the more destructive it gets.
You may not lie to yourself about the sin of adultery, but do you lie about the sin of covetousness? You may not lie to yourself about murder while at the same time telling yourself that a sinful habit is “not so bad”. Any way you look at it, sin causes destruction of something or someone God loves. The only way to prevent that destruction is to acknowledge that sin. Hiding your sin, lying to yourself about your sins, will make the destruction all the worse.
Look back on your life. Evaluate the lives of those around you. What sin has not caused destruction of some sort? What sin did not result in bad consequences? Even sins that cause short term benefits will result in long-term damage. How many times have you seen this happen?
The only way to deal with sin is to accept your responsibility for it, repent for your part, and change your ways. Acknowledge your sin to God and ask for forgiveness and grace, while rejecting that sin. There is no other way to help alleviate the destruction your sin will cause.
It is so easy to justify your sinful actions. In fact, the more you sin any particular sin, the more you will find ways to justify it to yourself. That doesn’t change the fact that every sin has consequences. That doesn’t stop the damaging effects of that sin in your life.
When Jesus went to the cross, He took your sins with Him. He wanted to show you a better way to deal with sin. You need to face the truth that sinful thoughts and actions have clouded your past. Even now you might be dealing with the consequences of your past sin. Don’t “deceive yourself”. Instead of covering over your sins, repent of them. Make things right. Otherwise, something or someone is going to get hurt or damaged or destroyed or lost. Come clean with sin or else sin will bring darkness over what you love.