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October 10

“One who is quick-tempered acts foolishly….” (Proverbs 14:17, NRSV) 
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Does it come to you as a surprise that people who are quick-tempered, who get angry too quickly, often do foolish things?  Anger makes you respond, at times, with unthoughtful vehemence.  A quick temper causes hasty and poor reactions.  Have you ever gotten so angry that you responded in momentary abandon?  Did you regret your response when things cooled down?

Joseph Hunter is known for a statement of wisdom he gave long ago.  These are his words:  “My life is in the hands of any fool who makes me lose my temper.”  When someone pushes your buttons to the point you respond with a quick temper, your reactions may be poorly chosen and ill-timed.  You may overreact or regret your words.   If a person is able to taunt you to such an extreme, that person is in control of your reactions.  That person can make you look the fool.

In our scripture for today from the wisdom of Proverbs, there is mention of an especially important result of a quick temper. When your anger gets red hot and you respond all too quickly, your actions may be very foolish indeed.  Proverbs 14:17 states clearly that the person “who is quick-tempered acts foolishly”.  There is a direct correlation between a quick temper and acts of foolishness. In essence, losing control of your anger will result with you acting the fool.

“Jim Taylor in CURRENTS tells the following story about his friend, Ralph Milton: One morning Ralph woke up at five o’clock to a noise that sounded like someone repairing boilers on his roof. Still in his pajamas, he went into the back yard to investigate. He found a woodpecker on the TV antenna, “pounding its little brains out on the metal pole.”
Angry at the little creature who ruined his sleep, Ralph picked up a rock and threw it. The rock sailed over the house, and he heard a distant crash as it hit the car. In utter disgust, Ralph took a vicious kick at a clod of dirt, only to remember -- too late -- that he was still in his bare feet.
Uncontrolled anger, as Ralph leaned, can sometimes be its own reward.”  (C. Swindoll, Growing Strong, p. 332)

Ralph Milton was so put out by this woodpecker, his quick-tempered response caused damage to both his car and his toes.  He responded in anger without thinking.  His foolishness caused hundreds of dollars in damage and several painful days of healing.

“When Abraham Lincoln had to write a letter to someone who had irritated him, he would often write two letters. The first letter was deliberately insulting. Then, having gotten those feelings out of his system, he would tear it up and write a second letter, this one tactful and discreet.” (John Luther in “Bits and Pieces”, Oct 1990).  Lincoln understood that a quick and hasty response when full of anger often carried dire consequences.  A quick temper will get you into trouble.

When you find your temperature rising and your temper beginning to boil, don’t succumb to the first thing that comes to your mind.  Like Lincoln, let out your anger in a safe manner and then choose your response.  Words used in anger will often intensify a conflict.   Acts of vengeance done while the blood is still boiling will often increase the risk of harm.  Do you want to be remembered for the rest of your life for one hasty decision made in anger?

While attending a class for pastors, I noticed an older gentleman in the back of the room.  He was in his sixties, wore very distinguished clothing, and studiously considered the leader at the front of the room.  Later, I was introduced to him and we became close friends.  He was easy to talk to and had a warm smile. On the third day of our class together, he opened up to me during a lunch break.  He told me that he had an affair with a woman from his church five years previous and had been brought before a ministry committee for censure.  He admitted his guilt and was put on ecclesiastical probation and required counseling.  His wife divorced him, and he lost his job.   It took him years to rebuild his life.  We talked about how it happened.  He told me… “My wife and I had a nasty fight.  I was so angry.  I vowed to make her pay.  I knew there was a woman in the congregation who had been making advances toward me, so I called her and went out for coffee.”  They spent that night together.  Several months of sex in hotel rooms followed.  After the guilt settled upon his soul and he could take it no longer, he told his wife.  In anger, she turned him in to the regional committee who oversaw pastoral indiscretions.  He was brought up on ecclesiastical charges.  Their divorce was a long, drawn out affair and very ugly.

What caused the affair to occur?  This pastor’s quick and unbridled anger at his wife brought his guard down.  The first tryst occurred within hours.  One moment of extreme anger and this pastor’s affair was the result.  It has affected his family and church interactions ever since.  He must live with his shame. 
​
Never underestimate how dangerous a quick temper can be!  In the least, it can cause you to say things you will regret later.  At its worst, a poor response to anger can forever affect your every waking moment.   The writer of Proverbs wanted you to think before you respond in anger.  He knew that a quick temper too often leads to foolish actions and unwanted regrets.

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