“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous …” (1 Corinthians 13:4, NLT)
Two girls, Brittney and Jasmine, were born only eighteen months apart. Though of the same family, they were the closest of friends as well. They played together day and night doing everything from having tea parties with their dolls to learning how to apply makeup. The girls were always together, looked out for each other, and comforted the other when things went wrong.
Brittney was the oldest. She started dating three years before her sister. When Brittney dated guys, she would relive the moments with her sister, desiring to get her thoughts, ideas, and opinions. Jasmine was told when Brittney had her first crush, her first boyfriend, her first date, and her first kiss. Jasmine often wished she were older so that the two could double date. That changed when Jasmine turned sixteen.
Just after turning sixteen, Jasmine told Brittney about her own crush named Ben. Ben was a senior in High School and a star on the football team. He dated many girls in High School but never seemed to settle down with one for very long. Jasmine wanted to change that. She believed Ben was her soulmate. She confided this to Brittney.
Two months after Jasmine told of her secret crush for Ben, Ben asked Brittney out to prom. Jasmine was livid. She could not believe Brittney said “yes” to go to the prom with Ben. After prom, the girls hardly spoke. Jasmine told her mother that she hated Brittney for “stealing” Ben. For months, Jasmine went out of her way to make Brittney look bad out of retaliation for prom. She played pranks on Brittney and started some shameful rumors about Brittney, even using secrets she and Brittney had shared in private to humiliate and shame Brittney. Jasmine was both jealous and resentful of her sister. This soured relationship lasted for years. Though both girls are now in their twenties, Jasmine and Brittney still can’t be in the same room without bickering or making snide comments. Jealousy combined with resentments and regrets have ruined their relationship.
John MacArthur noted that “jealousy thrives in a climate of selfish ambition” (Drawing Near, p. 240). There is a direct correlation between jealousy and selfishness. If a person is jealous of another, he or she will often have selfish tendencies that fuel the jealousy. In the case of Brittney and Jasmine, Jasmine’s desire to have Ben for her own was the selfish ambition that drove a wedge between the girls and fired up jealousy in Jasmine. Jealousy is also a sin. MacArthur mentioned that “Jealousy is an insidious sin that cries out, “I want what you have, and furthermore I don’t want you to have it.” It replaces contentment with resentment and spawns a myriad of other sins.”
One root of the Greek word used for “jealous” in today’s verse means “to boil”. You can picture Jasmine boiling inside heart and soul while her sister was attending prom with Ben. Like water roils and froths when boiling, a person’s emotions can roil and boil over when seething with jealousy.
The scripture for today from the “love chapter” of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, is clear that God’s kind of love does NOT include jealousy or envy. In fact, godly love drives out jealousy from heart and soul. If you harbor feelings of resentment stemming from jealousy, you need to examine yourself. You need especially to look for any selfish ambitions or self-centered feelings you may be harboring that are fueling the jealousy.
I find it interesting that when Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 13, he put certain words close to each other to inform and reinforce his meaning. 1 Corinthians 13:4 tells us that “love is patient and kind”. With that same verse, Paul also said what love is NOT. It is “not jealous or boastful or proud”. By lumping these three words together, you may discern that jealousy tends to show up selfishly along with boastfulness and pridefulness. These emotions often go hand in hand. If a person is jealous, they are often prideful. If they are jealous, they are arrogant. If they have envy, they will also be boastful. All these emotions destroy true love that is patient and kind.
“Charles L. Allen in The Miracle of Love writes of a fisherman friend who told him that one never needs a top for his crab basket. If one of the crabs starts to climb up the sides of the basket, the other crabs will reach up and pull it back down. Some people are a lot like crabs.” (6,000 Plus Illustrations for Communicating Biblical Truths). Out of jealousy they pull others down and keep them down. Out of jealousy, they don’t want to see others succeed. Out of jealousy, they will demean others out of a personal sense of entitlement.
Not only is love the antithesis of jealousy, it is the antidote. If you love another with a godly sort of love, you can rejoice in their victories and celebrate their achievements. Godly love is never insecure. It is not selfish. Godly love makes jealousy disappear to be replaced by grace and kindness and patience and truthfulness.
Today, would you rather boil with jealousy or feel the peace of loving-kindness?
Brittney was the oldest. She started dating three years before her sister. When Brittney dated guys, she would relive the moments with her sister, desiring to get her thoughts, ideas, and opinions. Jasmine was told when Brittney had her first crush, her first boyfriend, her first date, and her first kiss. Jasmine often wished she were older so that the two could double date. That changed when Jasmine turned sixteen.
Just after turning sixteen, Jasmine told Brittney about her own crush named Ben. Ben was a senior in High School and a star on the football team. He dated many girls in High School but never seemed to settle down with one for very long. Jasmine wanted to change that. She believed Ben was her soulmate. She confided this to Brittney.
Two months after Jasmine told of her secret crush for Ben, Ben asked Brittney out to prom. Jasmine was livid. She could not believe Brittney said “yes” to go to the prom with Ben. After prom, the girls hardly spoke. Jasmine told her mother that she hated Brittney for “stealing” Ben. For months, Jasmine went out of her way to make Brittney look bad out of retaliation for prom. She played pranks on Brittney and started some shameful rumors about Brittney, even using secrets she and Brittney had shared in private to humiliate and shame Brittney. Jasmine was both jealous and resentful of her sister. This soured relationship lasted for years. Though both girls are now in their twenties, Jasmine and Brittney still can’t be in the same room without bickering or making snide comments. Jealousy combined with resentments and regrets have ruined their relationship.
John MacArthur noted that “jealousy thrives in a climate of selfish ambition” (Drawing Near, p. 240). There is a direct correlation between jealousy and selfishness. If a person is jealous of another, he or she will often have selfish tendencies that fuel the jealousy. In the case of Brittney and Jasmine, Jasmine’s desire to have Ben for her own was the selfish ambition that drove a wedge between the girls and fired up jealousy in Jasmine. Jealousy is also a sin. MacArthur mentioned that “Jealousy is an insidious sin that cries out, “I want what you have, and furthermore I don’t want you to have it.” It replaces contentment with resentment and spawns a myriad of other sins.”
One root of the Greek word used for “jealous” in today’s verse means “to boil”. You can picture Jasmine boiling inside heart and soul while her sister was attending prom with Ben. Like water roils and froths when boiling, a person’s emotions can roil and boil over when seething with jealousy.
The scripture for today from the “love chapter” of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, is clear that God’s kind of love does NOT include jealousy or envy. In fact, godly love drives out jealousy from heart and soul. If you harbor feelings of resentment stemming from jealousy, you need to examine yourself. You need especially to look for any selfish ambitions or self-centered feelings you may be harboring that are fueling the jealousy.
I find it interesting that when Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 13, he put certain words close to each other to inform and reinforce his meaning. 1 Corinthians 13:4 tells us that “love is patient and kind”. With that same verse, Paul also said what love is NOT. It is “not jealous or boastful or proud”. By lumping these three words together, you may discern that jealousy tends to show up selfishly along with boastfulness and pridefulness. These emotions often go hand in hand. If a person is jealous, they are often prideful. If they are jealous, they are arrogant. If they have envy, they will also be boastful. All these emotions destroy true love that is patient and kind.
“Charles L. Allen in The Miracle of Love writes of a fisherman friend who told him that one never needs a top for his crab basket. If one of the crabs starts to climb up the sides of the basket, the other crabs will reach up and pull it back down. Some people are a lot like crabs.” (6,000 Plus Illustrations for Communicating Biblical Truths). Out of jealousy they pull others down and keep them down. Out of jealousy, they don’t want to see others succeed. Out of jealousy, they will demean others out of a personal sense of entitlement.
Not only is love the antithesis of jealousy, it is the antidote. If you love another with a godly sort of love, you can rejoice in their victories and celebrate their achievements. Godly love is never insecure. It is not selfish. Godly love makes jealousy disappear to be replaced by grace and kindness and patience and truthfulness.
Today, would you rather boil with jealousy or feel the peace of loving-kindness?