“Joy has left our hearts; our dancing has turned to mourning. The garlands have fallen from our heads. Weep for us because we have sinned.” (Lamentations 5:15–16, NLT)
“I don’t want to talk to you!”
That’s what the man said to me. I was walking the halls of the hospital as a chaplain. I sought out people to pray with, a chance to comfort those who were hurting, or to just be present with someone who was stressed or lonely. As I approached the man who said the words above, I felt pressed by God to ask a question, “Why do you not want to talk with me?” That opened the floodgates.
The man spoke quietly but with hushed tones. He said, “If I don’t talk with you, I don’t have to deal with my past. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to talk about it. Leave me alone.” I left him alone. He was in the cancer ward getting treatment. I knew he must have cancer. I knew he was always alone, nobody to sit with him. As I prayed for him a few rooms away, I knew he needed God badly. I just didn’t know why. He kept me distant. He wouldn’t let me share even a moment with him.
Then, one day, he spoke to me. He said with chagrin, “I know you have prayed for me. I asked you not to talk to me, but you prayed for me. I hate that you did that. Now, my heart thinks you and God can bring comfort to me. I don’t need your comfort. Please, stop praying for me!”
I didn’t listen. I prayed for him in my quiet time. I prayed for him when I entered the building. I prayed for him while seated in my church every Sunday for months.
On the Monday before Thanksgiving, I saw him on the ward. He looked like he had aged ten years in only three months. Worry lines had developed across his forehead. His eyes looked tired. His body looked ragged. I thought it was the cancer. That day, he spoke again to me. He said, “You kept praying for me, didn’t you? I know you have. I’m sorry I’ve been so awful to you. I’m doing much better in my treatments. But I just don’t want to talk with you. Every time I see your face, I’m reminded of a terrible series of sins I committed. I can hardly live with the thought that I did them. I tried for a long time to forget them. I tried to minimize what I did to make myself feel better. I know now that as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow, God is wanting me to make things right. I can’t. I just can’t face that past. Please, pastor, pray that some day I can find some peace again. Please!”
While I thought it was the cancer or the cancer treatments that had so aged this man, I do believe now that it was his past that had aged him so terribly. The man could not hide his sin. He could not run from it. He could not forget it. He had to face it every day. This caused him to suffer with regret and shame. His body was suffering greatly. It wouldn’t surprise me if the cancer came from the toll his sin had taken on his body. And, as long as he would not forgive himself…and as long as he would not repent of his sin before God… he was doomed to suffering and illness and a lack of peace in heart and soul and mind.
It was a terrible thing to watch happen!
Sin’s effects cause devastation upon heart and soul and mind. An unforgiven sin can cause flashbacks in the night, where you wake up sweating due to reliving the events surrounding the sin. An unforgiven sin will cause negative thoughts and emotions to enter your mind. At first, you will be able to just ignore them. Then, you will attempt to bury them. Then, you will do everything in your power to try and forget that sin that hangs on tenaciously… unforgiven. But no matter how far you try and run from it, no matter how deeply you bury it, that sin will eat away at heart and soul and mind.. and eventually your body will pay the price.
Today’s meditation concerns Lamentations 5:15-16. These two verses explain the dilemma that sin presents to you. First, when the sin is committed, “joy leaves the heart” (Lamentations 5:15). It’s much more difficult to find true happiness. Then comes “mourning”, sadness, maybe depression. This occurs when the sin begins to send out tentacles to mind and soul. It eats away at your peace. It is like a dark shadow looming over you despite a sunny, beautiful day. Finally, like it or not.. things get worse. As the unrepented sin continues sending its poison throughout mind and soul, you will end up with lots of “weeping” (Lamentations 5:16). Not only will you weep, but others will weep for you. They will perceive the sadness in your eyes, the tiredness upon your appearance, the deep scar festering in your soul.
There is a way out of this despair of the unforgiven sin. You can repent. God has laid out the only way for you to find release from your sin… you need to repent before Almighty God. You need to confess your sin and atone for that sin. You need to work out with God how to make things right. If you do this, the weight of the sin will be lifted with the power of God’s forgiveness. The burden upon your soul will disappear quickly. Your mind will again find some peace. You will again experience real joy. All it takes is a willingness to go to God with a truly repentant heart and soul and mind. Can you do that?
The man in the cancer ward was unwilling to ask God to forgive his sin. He felt he deserved his punishment. Despite the fact that God would have eased his burden, the man could not let go of his sin. He became comfortable with the sin until the sin took over, bringing all the overpowering sadness in his life. The man chose to live with his sin rather than work through his forgiveness with Jesus.
Look where it got him!
I remember praying at the altar with another man. He threw himself upon God’s mercy. He confessed his sin and begged for forgiveness. Then, I saw it. He was released from his sin. Jesus took the sin to the cross and nailed it there. Jesus brought forgiveness to the humble man. And the look on his face! Oh my, the look of joy and peace settling into his mind and heart and soul! His shoulders let go of the weight. He smiled. The tears fell from his eyes as the pain lifted. His soul was rejoicing in the Lord.
Don’t hold on to any sin. It isn’t worth it. It only brings sadness, hurt, and weeping. Throw yourself upon the mercy of the Lord. Kneel at the cross of Jesus. Confess your sin. Let grace roll over you. Let God’s forgiveness ease your burden. Do you love God enough to kneel at that cross? Or will you let sin have its way with you?
That’s what the man said to me. I was walking the halls of the hospital as a chaplain. I sought out people to pray with, a chance to comfort those who were hurting, or to just be present with someone who was stressed or lonely. As I approached the man who said the words above, I felt pressed by God to ask a question, “Why do you not want to talk with me?” That opened the floodgates.
The man spoke quietly but with hushed tones. He said, “If I don’t talk with you, I don’t have to deal with my past. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to talk about it. Leave me alone.” I left him alone. He was in the cancer ward getting treatment. I knew he must have cancer. I knew he was always alone, nobody to sit with him. As I prayed for him a few rooms away, I knew he needed God badly. I just didn’t know why. He kept me distant. He wouldn’t let me share even a moment with him.
Then, one day, he spoke to me. He said with chagrin, “I know you have prayed for me. I asked you not to talk to me, but you prayed for me. I hate that you did that. Now, my heart thinks you and God can bring comfort to me. I don’t need your comfort. Please, stop praying for me!”
I didn’t listen. I prayed for him in my quiet time. I prayed for him when I entered the building. I prayed for him while seated in my church every Sunday for months.
On the Monday before Thanksgiving, I saw him on the ward. He looked like he had aged ten years in only three months. Worry lines had developed across his forehead. His eyes looked tired. His body looked ragged. I thought it was the cancer. That day, he spoke again to me. He said, “You kept praying for me, didn’t you? I know you have. I’m sorry I’ve been so awful to you. I’m doing much better in my treatments. But I just don’t want to talk with you. Every time I see your face, I’m reminded of a terrible series of sins I committed. I can hardly live with the thought that I did them. I tried for a long time to forget them. I tried to minimize what I did to make myself feel better. I know now that as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow, God is wanting me to make things right. I can’t. I just can’t face that past. Please, pastor, pray that some day I can find some peace again. Please!”
While I thought it was the cancer or the cancer treatments that had so aged this man, I do believe now that it was his past that had aged him so terribly. The man could not hide his sin. He could not run from it. He could not forget it. He had to face it every day. This caused him to suffer with regret and shame. His body was suffering greatly. It wouldn’t surprise me if the cancer came from the toll his sin had taken on his body. And, as long as he would not forgive himself…and as long as he would not repent of his sin before God… he was doomed to suffering and illness and a lack of peace in heart and soul and mind.
It was a terrible thing to watch happen!
Sin’s effects cause devastation upon heart and soul and mind. An unforgiven sin can cause flashbacks in the night, where you wake up sweating due to reliving the events surrounding the sin. An unforgiven sin will cause negative thoughts and emotions to enter your mind. At first, you will be able to just ignore them. Then, you will attempt to bury them. Then, you will do everything in your power to try and forget that sin that hangs on tenaciously… unforgiven. But no matter how far you try and run from it, no matter how deeply you bury it, that sin will eat away at heart and soul and mind.. and eventually your body will pay the price.
Today’s meditation concerns Lamentations 5:15-16. These two verses explain the dilemma that sin presents to you. First, when the sin is committed, “joy leaves the heart” (Lamentations 5:15). It’s much more difficult to find true happiness. Then comes “mourning”, sadness, maybe depression. This occurs when the sin begins to send out tentacles to mind and soul. It eats away at your peace. It is like a dark shadow looming over you despite a sunny, beautiful day. Finally, like it or not.. things get worse. As the unrepented sin continues sending its poison throughout mind and soul, you will end up with lots of “weeping” (Lamentations 5:16). Not only will you weep, but others will weep for you. They will perceive the sadness in your eyes, the tiredness upon your appearance, the deep scar festering in your soul.
There is a way out of this despair of the unforgiven sin. You can repent. God has laid out the only way for you to find release from your sin… you need to repent before Almighty God. You need to confess your sin and atone for that sin. You need to work out with God how to make things right. If you do this, the weight of the sin will be lifted with the power of God’s forgiveness. The burden upon your soul will disappear quickly. Your mind will again find some peace. You will again experience real joy. All it takes is a willingness to go to God with a truly repentant heart and soul and mind. Can you do that?
The man in the cancer ward was unwilling to ask God to forgive his sin. He felt he deserved his punishment. Despite the fact that God would have eased his burden, the man could not let go of his sin. He became comfortable with the sin until the sin took over, bringing all the overpowering sadness in his life. The man chose to live with his sin rather than work through his forgiveness with Jesus.
Look where it got him!
I remember praying at the altar with another man. He threw himself upon God’s mercy. He confessed his sin and begged for forgiveness. Then, I saw it. He was released from his sin. Jesus took the sin to the cross and nailed it there. Jesus brought forgiveness to the humble man. And the look on his face! Oh my, the look of joy and peace settling into his mind and heart and soul! His shoulders let go of the weight. He smiled. The tears fell from his eyes as the pain lifted. His soul was rejoicing in the Lord.
Don’t hold on to any sin. It isn’t worth it. It only brings sadness, hurt, and weeping. Throw yourself upon the mercy of the Lord. Kneel at the cross of Jesus. Confess your sin. Let grace roll over you. Let God’s forgiveness ease your burden. Do you love God enough to kneel at that cross? Or will you let sin have its way with you?